Curating 2022

Sharing a list of books where each title will have a simple summary or reflection. This is an open invitation to share your thoughts, start a conversation, or make another recommendation based on this list.



A Muslim American Slave: The Life of Omar ibn Said - Edited by Ala Alryyes: The story of Omar ibn Said is eye opening for Muslims and Americans. Kidnapped and brought into slavery around 40 years old in the Carolinas, Omar's owners commissioned him to write an autobiography in Arabic about his life. He begins with the Basmala, salutations on the Prophet SAW and the entirety of Surah Mulk. He died in old age a captive and is buried on the Owens plantation. There are photos of his grave at the American Islamic Heritage Museum. The essays that fill the rest of the book are vital to understanding the context of other Muslim slave communities in the Americas, and what was the most enlightening, Sylviane Diouf's writing on the political and religious environment in Africa that was connected with the transatlantic slave trade.

An Introduction to Hadith Sciences - Furhan Zubairi: Lays down the foundation of what everyone Muslim and non-Muslim should understand about what is transmitted from our Prophet SAW. There is no room for ambiguity after understanding the classification structure, the rigors to authenticate, and the divine facilitation in preserving the Truth.

An Introduction to the Sciences of the Qur'an - Furhan Zubairi: Lays down the correct understanding of how the Qur'an was revealed, how it was compiled, its recitation and how it should be applied. Leaves no room for ambiguity and answers basic questions Muslims and non-Muslims have in understanding the implications of the Divine Writ.

Lessons from Surah Yusuf - Yasir Qadhi: An expounded reading of the 12th Surah, a well known story about the Prophet Yusuf AS across Abrahamic traditions. The trials and triumph of the Prophet Yusuf AS have intricate lessons for the believer- in being steadfast, having unbreakable faith in your Creator, having wisdom and gentleness in dealing with family, peers and your society.

Prayers Upon the Beloved ﷺ - Habib Umar: A concise book of litanies that connect the 99 attributes of Allah SWT in sending salawat upon our beloved Prophet SAW. Instructional in knowing one's Lord through attributes and also knowing His Habib through those qualities.

Sacrifice: The Legacy of Our Beloved Prophet ﷺ - Tameem Ahmadi: A compilation of Hadith that demonstrate the sheer amount of difficulty our Habib SAW went through in fulfilling his responsibility as Prophet and Messenger. Astonishing to learn that his Companions did not know the hardships and hunger he endure in his lifetime until his passing when his household conveyed them. Maulana Tameem has a condensed Youtube lecture series.

The Salutation upon the Best of Creation: Commentary on the Prayer of 'Abd Al-Salam Ibn Mashish - Ahmad Ibn Ajiba Al-Hasani: Ibn Mashish rH is the Knower of Allah that Shaykh Abu Hasan Shadili the eponymous founder of the Shadili tariqa sought out in his spiritual wayfaring. The section describing Ibn Mashish rH is a book within the book. This litany that is authored by him is then given a commentary by Ibn Ajiba. The depths of losing ones ego and self into connecting with the Creator through a connection to our Habib SAW is a very fine threading of the needle. The litany.

Who is the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ? - Habib Umar: A concise but focused didactic text to aid in memorizing the life and mission of our Habib SAW. Instructive to help memorize his noble lineage, his mission, major events in his life and by extension establishment of the deen.





Beyond Possible - Nims Purja: An ambitious ex-Gurka (Nepalese Special Forces Marine for the British Military) raised in the lowlands of Nepal- Nims became obsessed with summiting the 14 highest peaks in the world in record time. Knowing the invisible contributions of the Sherpas that supported virtually every western alpinists' summit attempt he wanted to flip the script and bring attention to eastern mountaineers. The contrasting views of western and eastern alpinists really come out in the book. Nims shares an anecdote of one climber who died despite Nims efforts to bring him down, Nims reflects had other climbers helped they could have saved a life, but the individualistic, petty, competitive culture that pervades mountaineering prevent that. There is a documentary on Netflix about his journey as well.

T: The Story of Testosterone, the Hormone that Dominates and Divides Us - Carole Hooven (Audio Book): Great exploration on the foundation of the basic science of the hormone and its impact on our physical development, which then leads into the more interesting analysis of how society has developed customs and norms that entrench different aspects of masculine or testosterone driven behavior. Was introduced to this via Art of Manliness.

The High Sierra: A Love Story - Kim Stanley Robinson (Audio Book): A tribute to the Sierra Nevada, a pseudo memoir on growing old with the mountain, loaded with insight, wit and cements a love for the range that holds the popular Yosemite Valley, Kings Canyon, Dusy Basin, Mount Whitney to name a few. An essay about the essay from the Atlantic.

The Living Mountain - Nan Shepherd: Nan was an expert outdoors woman. Here is an unforgettable and rapturous ode to the Cairngorms in Scotland. It carries a vivid description of the land, the animals and the people who lived there. For an American reader this has slight echoes of her fellow Scotsman John Muir and his love for the High Sierras who had his adventures a half century before this was written.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert - John Gottman (Audio Book): Like the majority of amicable relationships in life- open and gentle communication, assuming the best in the other (bids) and acknowledging boundaries (perpetual) differences were key lessons to draw from this work.

What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage: Lessons for People from Animals and Their Trainers - Amy Sutherland (Audio Book): Acknowledge good behavior and place less attention on bad behavior. Works for adults, for kids and friends. A "viral" NY Times Article.

I Came as a Shadow - John Thompson (Audio Book): Legendary Georgetown basketball coach, a prominent Black coach that won a NCAA championship, mentored all star players like Patrick Ewing and Allen Iverson, inked a sponsorship deal with Nike in an era where white men dominate and continue to dominate leadership roles in the sport. Thompson is viewed as a mentor for young black men beyond basketball and it is clear how his life experiences and choices he made established him as such. There's an interview of Kevin Garnett by Thompson floating on the internet.

Will - Will Smith (Audio Book): An incredibly fortunate and successful celebrity, Will opens up and reflects on his upbringing and how lessons from his father, mother and grandmother stuck with him through his climb in hiphop, tv and movies. He narrates his own audio book which makes it a more entertaining listen.




1602 - Neil Gaman: Gives flagship Marvel characters like Spider-man, Nick Fury, Dr. Doom a new perspective in this colonial era spin of the Marvel universe. Fun to imagine these characters in an adventure out of place but with familiar attributes and a nice plot hook.

Marvels - John Busiek & Alex Ross: Ross' hyper realistic illustrations in a 1940s Social Realism aesthetic was one of my first encounters with comics in the 1990s. A "could be reality" tale of how a fickle society easily flips heroes to villains and villains to heroes. The canon of Marvel heroes emerge in moments of hardship starting in the World War 2 era and into the 1950s. A parallel no doubt of how many of these characters were created by artists in the same era.

The Last Ronin - Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird & Tom Waltz: Going back to its original roots this story of the Ninja Turtles takes place in the near future, where Shredder's descendants have won, killed off all but one of the Turtles and rule over a dystopian New York City. Great story and a meditation on your legacy, purpose and honoring those who built you. A HiFi fan video clip of the story

Description of the God Conscious

It is related that a devout worshipper by the name of Humam came to Imam ‘Ali, may God ennoble his countenance, and asked him to describe the God conscious people so vividly that he could almost see them. Imam ‘Ali responded: “Their speech is truthful; their clothing is moderate; and they walk with utmost humility. They lower their gaze from everything God has forbidden. They allow their ears to listen only to that which is beneficial. Their souls accept exposure to trials and tribulations [in adherence to the truth] as easily as others accept luxurious living. Were it not for their appointed term, their spirits would not have remained in their bodies the span of a twinkling of the eye due to their intense longing for their Lord. Because the Creator is magnified in their souls, everything else is viewed as insignificant in their sight. Their hearts are sober; people are safe from any wickedness from them; their bodies are slim [they don’t overindulge their appetites]; their basic needs are few; and their souls are chaste. They patiently endure the few days they spend in this world knowing that they will be followed by a long, peaceful rest—this is the profitable life-transaction which their Lord has allowed them to enter into. The world desired them; however, they had no desire for it. It imprisoned them, but they ransomed their souls from it [with their restraint and righteous deeds].

At night, their feet are arranged in ranks as they dutifully recite the Qur’an in slow measured tones. If they come upon a verse that stimulates [in them] longing [for the delightful things which God has promised] they ponder it, craving to attain them. Their souls soar due to the intensity of their longing for those delights. If they come upon a verse that frightens them [with the threat of Allah’s dreadful punishment] they hear it reverberating in the depths of their hearts. They imagine that they hear the dreadful sounds of the Hellfire in the innermost recesses of their ears. You find them kneeling down [before their Lord], begging to be liberated from the Hellfire. As for their days, they are forbearing, clement scholars. They are righteous and pious. Fear [of Allah] pierces their hearts like arrows. One who gazes upon them thinks that they are sick. However, they are far from being sick.

They are not satisfied with a minimal amount of righteous deeds, nor do they consider excessive amounts of worship to be great. They see their faults, and they fear that their deeds will not be accepted. If someone praises one of them, he says, ‘I know myself better than others [know me], and my Lord is more knowledgeable of me than myself. O God! Do not take me to task for what they say, and make me better than what they think of me, and forgive me for those sins which they are unaware of.”

One of the signs [of such a person] is that you observe strength in his religion. His gentleness is accompanied by sobriety. His faith is coupled with certainty. He longs for knowledge. He acts with forbearance. He lives moderately, even when blessed with wealth. He is humble in his worship. He endures poverty with dignified grace. He patiently endures trying circumstances. He seeks his sustenance from the lawful. He hastens to right guidance. He is agitated if he perceives greed in himself. He works righteousness all the while trembling, [fearing that his deeds won’t be accepted]. His greatest concern is gratitude. In the morning preoccupied with the Remembrance of God. He goes to bed at night overwhelmed, apprehensive. He rises in the morning overjoyed. His apprehension arises from the awareness of his heedlessness. His joy is caused by the bounties and mercy [God has opened up for him during the coming day]. If his soul presses him with something he despises, he does not concede [to it] and withholds from it what it desires. The comfort of his eye is that which is permanent [the reward of his righteous deeds]. His abstinence from that which is temporal. He mixes clemency with knowledge, and speech with action. He expects death at any moment. His slips are few [because of his cautiousness and deliberateness in speech and actions]. His heart is content. He is easy-going. He is constantly on guard against assaults upon his religion. His lusts are dead. His anger is suppressed. People anticipate goodness from him. They are safe from any wickedness from him. If he is in the company of the heedless, he is recorded as being mindful [of his Lord].

He overlooks those who oppress him. He gives to those who deny him. He joins relations with those who cut him off. He is far removed from any indecency. His speech is gentle. You find nothing bad in him. He is always a source of good. During calamities, he is composed. In dire straights, he is patient. In times of ease, he is thankful. He does not oppress those he dislikes, nor does he sin for the sake of those he loves. He admits the truth before his witnessing is sought. He preserves all he is entrusted with. He does not hurl abusive names at people. He never harms his neighbor, nor does he find joy in afflictions that befall his enemy. If he is transgressed against, he perseveres until God takes revenge for him. He relies on himself while he himself is a source of relief for others [they can rely on him]. He tires himself for the sake of his salvation, not burdening others in any way. His distance from those he avoids is a form of abstinence, while his drawing near to people is from his gentleness and mercy. Hence, his distance from people does not arise from arrogance and haughtiness, nor is his closeness to them motivated by cunning and treachery.”

Hearing this, Humam dropped dead. Imam ‘Ali, may God be pleased with him said, “This is what I feared would happen to him. Thus is the effect of a penetrating word when it reaches a receptive heart.”

- From Nahj al-Balagha via Imam Zaid Shakir's social media

Remembering Srebrenica in The Last Refuge by Hasan Nuhanovic

As a product of the 90s I've heard of Bosnia, Yugoslavia (courtesy of the NBA) and a genocide, but I never really paused to examine the devastating effects of it until an adult. As a college student I added more vocabulary and political education to my repertoire- ethnic cleansing, Balkans, Serbia, Croatia and Kosovo. Still, it was distant and unrelatable. I couldn't imagine a scenario like Yugoslavia in the US.

During the last few years and our current crisis around police murders of black men, it started to enter my imagination. What if one day, my neighbors, my state take up arms against me or a certain communities of the nation?
What if police brutality, redlining, lynchings, deportations, surveillance programs are rooted in the same soil that drove Serbian aggression on Bosniaks?
Of course this isn't unprecedented in this country- race riots, immigration exclusion acts, and Japanese internment all point to xenophobia and nativism in the US.

In reading Hasan Nuhanovic's first hand account of life under siege during the three and a half year Bosnian War, I could start feeling connections to it with the world I lived in.

If we grew up together, Nuhanovic would strike me as a suburban middle class kid, with a dry sense of self deprecating humor, a generation or two removed from family in the countryside that worked hard with their hands, filled with filial piety, and a high intellect.
Of course what makes him unique is the devastating circumstances of his early adulthood. He's dedicated his life's work to bringing attention to the Bosnian genocide, seeking justice by prosecuting perpetrators and memorializing those killed to a wider global audience.
Nuhanovic recounts how he learned English from books as a refugee under occupation, and got immersion experience by working as a translator for the UN when they entered Srebrenica.

Three aspects of this book really stood out:

(I)
He writes about the descent into survival mode and strips away any romanticism of life under siege. He recalled poignant moments like the last time the family would have electricity or Muslim refugees resorting to eat pork because it was the first time in months they had come across meat. More than once he reflects on his attempts to leave the warzone by appealing to his family. He seemed to be up against a common middle class folly that stability is a given and things would return to normal after some unusual hiccups within the state.

He reflects on the pure survival instincts that kick in, where priorities are only your immediate family and at times only yourself if given the choice of escaping or having a morsel of food. On approaching relatives and friends under the siege, Nuhanovic notes the unspoken social contract- feel free to visit, but don't expect to be offered or ask for any food or material support.
Bitter moments like this are littered through the book, and occasionally broken up with moving and inspiring stories of generosity and the heroics of the Bosniak resistance, which Nuhanovic openly admits that he wasn't up for. He relates these thoughts as a matter of fact, as well as several instances of his family going hungry.

(II)
The stirring beauty and natural landscape of Bosnia. The forests that Bosniaks ran into to hide from shellings and soldiers, the mountains entire families fled to find refuge in, the wide and long rivers that transported refugees under gunfire, the bright and clear skies that meant frequent air raids, the snowy landscape that meant inevitable hunger, the idyllic farms and villages razed to the ground- hits all the more harder if one has visited Bosnia or read Ivo Andric's Nobel prize winner, Bridge on the Drina.

(III)
The indifference of the global community, the war propaganda machine vilifying Bosniaks, realpolitik of Serbian aggression with impunity are things you may read in an International Relations textbook. We already know how this story ends, who is killed and who survives. But when written by a survivor with the intent to convey beyond emotional trauma, the book carries a haunting resonance.
Hasan cites his intention to share accounts of the siege and to bring justice by prosecuting the perpetrators of the genocide and those complicit in the war.
This necessitates a slight matter of fact treatment, which really works as the author recounts and simultaneously separates his first hand experiences to give a contextual and bigger picture account of the war.

-
The Last Refuge is meant to be the first of three books recounting events leading to the Srebrenica genocide in July 1995.

Hasan Nuhanovic interview, 2013:

On the Road to Hajj

(I)
Last year, my mother called me from the east coast and asked- "Son, let me know when you have time to join me for Umra."
"Maa you let me know when you're available and I'll plan accordingly."

Several people from our community went for Hajj that year, but my parents couldn't make it then.
This was a test run to see if my parents could handle the rigors of Umra, get a feel for being at the House of Allah and the city of our Prophet ﷺ.
One moment I vividly remember- both my parents remarked that at the House of Allah, there is always somebody in worship of Him. This is intrinsic to the nature of Islam. It is a subtle but amazing reflection that comes to people who witness the House.
We were all keen on fulfilling the rites according to the Sunna and did our best to fulfill our acts of worship. It was a spiritual experience to share with the two people who taught me the fundamentals of what I believed as a child and how to worship according to the Sunna.
Shortly after returning from Umra, I got another one of those mother calls, this time knowing what to expect: "Son, lets plan for Hajj, start researching how to get there."

Alhamdulilah, I realized the moment before me: in less than 12 months I'd have the opportunity to visit the house of Allah and the city of the Messenger ﷺ again. I knew the invitation from Allah came at the behest of my mother. I knew for sure that I needed to fulfill my duty to facilitate for her in order to hold onto the invite. I literally felt as though I was sneaking in on her coattails.
As I started exploring logistic options and packages, I also planned to begin the preparation of the rites and rituals.
Alhamdulilah, I was connected to an old friend, a true brother who calmed my concerns and made very clear that we should plan for our Hajj with the teachers at Qalam. He was someone I had known through my formative years- there was a time our religious practice and brotherhood were so intertwined that whatever was mine was his and vice versa. Similar to me, his parents had gone on Hajj for the first time a few years back, and this program attended to all their needs. The brother also told me he would intend to go and would be in the service of my parents in whatever was needed by them. The sign from Allah was clear and we easily squared away logistics. Now, I knew if I wanted to guarantee my invitation I should learn what was required of this pillar of the religion.
I earnestly reviewed the principles and rulings, reading and viewing Hajj primers, in addition to texts of fiqh (Ascent to Felicity, Shaykh Suheil Laher's translation of Mukhtasr alQuduri). My parents also consulted resources in their native language that easily demonstrated the rituals through videos and diagrams. It dawned on us that the journey, the sequence of rites and the time would make this more strenuous than umra. There was a sincere hope in Allah that we can go and fulfill our obligations such that it would be accepted. The excitement of the journey was coupled with a fear of whether or not I ultimately would be able to go.
Would we undertake the pilgrimage so that it would be accepted? Being able to connect with other would be pilgrims, albeit passively- made it feel like a communal experience. Webinars, Whatsapp groups, online forums- this was a sign of things to come in the Manasik days.


(II)
The day of departure arrived. Due to heavy traffic, we missed our domestic connection flight but I had pure tawakul. I made the sincere intention of answering Allah's call and knew that if He were to accept it, I'd find myself once more at the Holy House, doing tawaf with my parents. After landing in Istanbul, we donned our Ihram garb. I was excited about approaching my goal, something I had anticipated for the last 9 months, in reality, for years. Now I was aware of the weight of that yearning. Similar to how Muhammad Asad described his sudden pull towards Mecca- 

"we allow ourselves to be blown by the winds because we do know what we want: our hearts know it, even if our thoughts are sometimes slow to follow - but in the end they do catch up with our hearts and then we think we have made the decision."

Who are better travel companions than my wife- who knows my tendencies better than anyone, my mother- who to this day can calm me down and my father- who models a robust individual connection to his Creator?
Getting to the haram and walking towards the Kaaba was akin to a fisherman reeling me in- 8 months, 30 years, each time felt like the first time. Imam Ghazali reminded us being in ihram is to be in a state of dishevelment and that we are returning to our Creator.
Approaching the black stone, I remembered it is either a proof for us or against us- in that we fulfill the covenant that Allah took from us. Would we uphold the deen and play a part in the mission of the Habib ﷺ? I loved the stone because he ﷺ loved it. We began our tawaf of the Holy House in an effort to mimic the angels, who do the same of the house in the heavens. We are like the ones we imitate, so we attempt to be angelic. Circumambulating around the house, I recited the Tahlil, Tasbih, Hamd & Takbir. I felt an urge to recite Quran but I couldn’t. I was overwhelmed with the emotion of being invited back. We completed our tawaf to the best of our abilities, rested, offered 2 raka of prayer and rejuvenated ourselves with the water of Zam Zam.
Then we headed over to Safa and recalled that our mother Hajar ran here in desperation. I looked back at my own mother who diligently and steadily went between the two hills. I remembered Imam Ghazali who advised us to consider Safa and Marwa as the scale of our good and bad deeds on the Day of Judgement and that we are running in between them.
At times, my iman was high and I was certain of salvation and also within moments I knew my actions can very well cast me down into ruin. I realized that only Allah can forgive and grant proximity to all that is pleasing to Him.
I was exhausted, the long day of transit was starting to sap my adrenaline. But being amongst the ummah, reflecting that there are righteous people amongst us gave me motivation to keep going and seeking Allah's pleasure through fulfillment of the rites.
We cut our hair after Fajr prayers, and the release from Ihram was cathartic. From missing our flight, to getting to Istanbul, looking for a place to change into ihram, making sure we were altogether, the long ride from Jedda to Makka, checking in to our hotel and then finally starting our rites, it was a long day. This was my third visit, and I mistakenly thought it would be easier but I was utterly exhausted and drained. I pray for its acceptance.


(III)
After performing umra I felt an urge to calibrate, get rest and prepare for the manasik days. I was getting sick and feared having the invitation rejected. I rested and then proceeded to the Haram, resolved to review Quran, which I could not recall in Tawaf. While engaged in Tawaf on the mataf I heard a reciter similar to the master reciter al-Husary. I turned to see a man, perhaps in his 60s reading from a mushaf and his brother steering him by holding his shoulders. The pilgrims slowed down around him and I think his brother noticed I was hovering with them during tawaf. His dedication to the Quran inspired me to have that same dedication to recitation. Upon completing my tawaf I found myself on the roof. Slept for an hour surrounded by two dozen pilgrims and offered my salah. Muslims were around me in worship, resting, socializing quietly over snacks and it energized me. I landed with our group and was treated to a lesson and recitation of Surah Yasin. Searching within myself I knew I needed to leave my reservations behind and set my intentions right.
On one of the evenings Shaykh Mubeen taught us the etiquette of making dua and this ground me with why we were here. He taught us to:

• Praise our Creator- by reciting the Fatiha, or calling on his Names
• Express gratitude to Allah for the immense bounties granted to us
• To praise his beloved, our Prophet ﷺ through salawat, durood, and recalling moments in his life- that he was orphaned at a young age, that he lost his wife, uncle and was rejected by people in the same year
• Pray for the umma, by recalling locations, and the tribulations they are facing
• Pray for those who deserve your dua- your parents, your family, your friends, those who have done favors for you, and anyone you may have hurt
• Pray for forgiveness from minor and major sins and hoping that Allah would forgive you if you repented
• Pray for the things that will get you success- ability to offer prayers, removing anger, backbiting and vices, dying in a state of Islam
• Pray for your worldly affairs, as long as they are permissible
• Pray for anything the Prophet ﷺ asked for, protection from the things he sought protection for
• To praise the Prophet ﷺ with salawat
• Praise our Creator

It was time for us to enter into ihram and set out for Mina. Walking through the tunnel towards our camp with the talbiya on our tongue felt natural. Getting in our tent I immediately was thrust in with a group of strangers. Once my father and I were seated I broke out the mushaf and got to work to emulate the dedication I witnessed at the haram. I disliked losing it on my tongue in tawaf and was determined to hold it. I felt grounded because others were doing the same. I was aware that my father was taking time adjusting into the tent- tight spaces and but was certain he would gradually acclimate. We knew the day that lay ahead and several generous brothers were warming up with each other and that spread all through the tent. At this point I still didn't know how much love I'd have for everyone there. I observed how others treated my father and that warmed me up quickly. Alhamdulilah. As I settled in the tent I met folks in our community- sharing my culture, my experiences and giving advice on staying connected to our purpose of hajj by being easy with the unexpected. On the morning of Arafa we set out for the mashaer train. The sheer number of hujjaj hit me. Labayk Allahuma Labayk! We're answering the call!


(IV)
Upon arriving at our base tent in Arafa, the sun was baking us. By 9AM, the sun's intense blaze dried off any damp clothing or water off my neck. I refused to eat heavy food but focused on staying hydrated. I reviewed my specific duas, completed wird al-amm and found my tongue moving with salawat. I sought to connect him ﷺ to this momentous day. I walked outside before duhr and felt the extreme heat, wondering how can I worship when I'm exhausted, my throat hurting and my head throbbing? Fortunately the brother to my left was engaged in dhikr out-loud. Again, I felt invigorated by the people around me. With renewed focus and wudu I recited Quran. Anticipating salah and the khutba, my father and I had a light starchy breakfast and focused on staying hydrated. After salah we knew it was “go time”. Duas during Arafa are not rejected, and the focus of Hajj is about the worship on this day. I had a moment where I encountered our shuyookh and found them in the tent seated on the ground, facing qibla and reciting the Quran. Their seriousness, dedication, and recognition of the precious time again pushed me.
I then began my routine- Quran, Sunna supplication, Quran, dhikr. I took a break to wash up and make wudu. As I left the tent there was moisture in the air. I found my wife and mother standing outside as a drizzle turned into steady rain. I stood with my family for a moment making dua- intending to hurry back to my tent and continue my routine. Too late! By the time I got to the mouth of my tent, it was thundering and I was drenched in the coolest most welcoming rain shower I could imagine. I faced the qibla and being led by Shaykh Mubeen & Shaykh Ahmed we were showered in the mercy of Allah and felt all doubt being washed off of me.

Doubt of Allah.

Doubt of His mercy.

Doubt of his khayr.

Doubt of the akhira.

Doubt of salvation.

Fear of the material world.

The rain washed us, the thunder calibrated and oriented our hearts towards the qibla, and the duas of the scholars put us in the company of those who the Lord is pleased with.
The planned routine was off but now all the personal dua's leapt out of the heart. The thunder affirmed it. Never before had we felt that enveloped in grace. It dawned on me that my father might be drenched, but I found him in the tent, protected from the torrential rain, but recipient of its cool breeze. As the rain subsided, I relished in the brotherhood of each of us helping wring out our ihram. Our day was not done. After drying our ihram I grabbed my dua book, reminding myself and my father to spend a portion outside supplicating in the manner of the Prophet ﷺ. I read the duas of the people who requested them of me. Hoping their duas apply to me and my family. It dawned on me the day is too short, I should not have used the restroom twice. I should make dua with more intentionality and sincerity. I made my personal duas again and knew I wanted to read the duas in the Accepted Whispers. I started it intending to finish it by sunset & confident that I would be able to before the blessings of the day closed. The hujjaj were shuffling between making dua outside in the mud and back inside the tents that had a subtle quietness to them.
We started mobilizing out of the tent but I read and focused on dua until the brilliant colors of sunset spread into Arafa. I read Mawlana Thanawai's closing dua as the sky took on a purple hue. A beautiful sunset, yet a sadness that the wonders of this day was coming to a close.

(V)
As we filed out of Arafa towards Muzdalifa, it felt like a replication of the Resurrection- All standing, waiting, wishing to get to the next leg of our journey. Would Muzdalifa be drenched? How do we fare in the crowds? On the way, met a kinsmen of mine and we chatted about his seasonal work in the holy cities. He refused my gift citing we were brothers flat out, but took it from a fellow Hajji woman. He repeated that we were kinsman and he couldn't, yet the reason I wanted my gift in his hands was because we were brothers.
Muzdalifa had hundreds of groups of people. We prayed isha and got to encounter the generosity of many in our group, on where to pray, where to eat, finding sleeping mats, water and where to find stones. Alhamdulilah one of the true blessings of this deen is with community. We left for Fajr and Mina early and arrived to our tents after our first round of rami to hit the jamrat. In stoning the pillars we were fulfilling the actions of our father Ibrahim (AS) in pelting Satan on his way to fulfill Allah’s commandments.
We had my parents in tow so getting through the rite with sincerity and correctness was key. Then we'd be relieved of being on our feet for hours. We arrived back to our Mina camp, and our barber was a young man from Cairo. He had completed his studies at Azhar, currently living in Makka, and served the pilgrims by cutting their hair to release them from their state of ihram.
A few more rites remained- up next was our Tawaf ifada. It was raining upon our arrival to the haram. We completed our tawaf and saee. Met more of our tent folk and felt a strong bond with anyone who experienced Arafa. That night in Mina, I lost my voice but was loaded with energy. I felt a pull to pray at Masjid alKhayf out of an overwhelming desire to follow in the Prophet's ﷺ footsteps. This was where he ﷺ camped with the sahaba, the site where 70 prophets of old had prayed. At 2AM myself and a dear brother from our tent set off. The Mina camps were alive and running. It hit me once again, the size of the umma- the faces and the cultures of this umma, and the sheer determination to be in this place, at this time, all to seek the pleasure of Allah.
Getting to Khayf was similar to the experience at AlHajar aswad. The gates were shut, and the guards tried to break up the crowds- but the bantering back and forth, the swelling of the hujjaj; made it clear no one was leaving until we could offer our salah inside. I recalled what he ﷺ said here in regards to settling for the hereafter vs the dunya-
“Allah will set right the affairs of the person whose prime concern is the Aakhirah (Hereafter), Allah will also grant him self-sufficiency and the world will humble itself before him. As for the person whose prime concern is this world, Allah will scatter his affairs, place poverty in front of him and all he will get of this world will be what has been predestined for him.“

Finally, the guards let people out in throngs and when we were able to enter, it was a mob- the closest I felt to being trampled by my own people. Squeezed, sweaty and pulled at the limbs, Alhamdulilah we made it inside.
We found a spot towards the front and was able to take in the scene: Hujjaj everywhere! Sleeping, resting, worshipping, spending the better part of the night here. I offered some raka and went back to Quran. Leaving after Fajr we were welcomed with the colors of sunrise and felt a bit of the heat of the day to bake us. The following day was light and resting made most sense. The bonds in the tent were high as was in general with the hujjaj.
Unexpectedly, it rained very hard that afternoon and we worked together to make sure our tent did not flood. While we were busy clearing out our path, we got word that our scholars had taken buckets, bowls anything to scoop water with and were clearing out the path in front of the sisters' tents.
As a group, we followed our imams for the 2nd day of stoning at Jamrat. Our worship followed the lead of our scholars, and we presented ourselves to our Creator. We ask for its acceptance!
That night again my desire to see the hujjaj enroute to khayf overwhelmed me. I took my time and walked to see people, tents- exchanging pleasantries and reflected on the scale of believers. Khayf's doors were opened but nary a space to sleep. I squeezed in between a few who were lightly sleeping and assured them I'm not planning to sleep and cause more of a land grab. I offered my salah, made dua and headed back to camp. By then salawat was dripping off the tongue in preparation for the trip to Madina. As we prepared for our final tawaf- tawaf wida we arrived back at the haram. It was hot. The motion and buzz of Makkah was electrifying. The Kaaba was awe inspiring and grand sight for the eyes. I wished to visit Jannatul Mualla but our timing with buses would make it impossible. However my unspoken inclination was heard and our bus stopped in front of the cemetery. I imagined the wife of the Habib ﷺ, his uncle, grandfather and mother to be there, (rA).


(VI)
We now set for Madina to visit the city of the Habib ﷺ. I was advised to increase salawat, to lower my voice and give in charity when visiting the Prophet ﷺ. We embarked on the brand new high speed Haramain train. We were the first group of Hujjaj to use the service. The train was quiet, clean, fast and had staffers ready to help with anything or answer any questions the hujjaj had. My mother lost her bag on the platform, and the moment she realized it, before we could go back to search for it, a staffer ran over with her purse. The hospitality and ease of everything really softened us for our next destination. Peering out the window as we were going 100MPH I reflected on the Prophet’s ﷺ hijra through the rugged and rocky desert. Being able to partake in small parts of his life, in wildly different formats- on camel vs. train, in secret vs. openly, was humbling. We were welcomed by the Hajj ministry on arrival, a very easy welcome to Madina Munawara.
We were reminded at some point of our journey- that Makka is where Allah breaks down our nafs and inclinations towards the dunya until we're left alone and can only turn to Allah. In Madina we heal in the presence of the Messenger ﷺ who taught us, purified us and seeks forgiveness for us:
We did not send any Messenger but to be obeyed by the leave of Allah. Had they, after having wronged themselves, come to you and sought forgiveness from Allah, and had the Messenger prayed for their forgiveness, they would certainly have found Allah Most-Relenting, Very-Merciful. 4:64

The time in Madina was calm. The days were short but the moments were filled with blessings. In the Rowda between the apartment of the Prophet ﷺ and the Mimbar from where he ﷺ preached our group spent time there with dua, Quran and Salah.


(VII)
The mornings passed with visits to the cemetery- Jannatul Baqi, making dua that we are buried amongst them, and resurrected alongside Habib ﷺ. On one of the evenings we took a walking tour of Madina, visiting places where historic decisions were made (the wells, the garden, Eid salah). All this was a means to connect our hearts with the sunna and the life of the Prophet ﷺ. On our last days of group activities we toured the first mosque established in Quba by the Prophet ﷺ himself, Mount Uhud- stopping in the heat to see the mountain which is a mountain of paradise. In our individual time we made frequent visits to the Prophet's ﷺ grave and utilized litanies and greetings from our scholars. One of the subtleties of being in Madina is realizing how much the Prophet ﷺ made his mission to take care of people, and all kinds of people- poor, wealthy, young and old, beggars and the privileged. I witnessed this by the diversity of people who made ziyara to convey their love and salaam to him ﷺ. The community was friendly to each other and strangers became friends.

The last hours in Madina were bittersweet. A minor escape from the dunya to be in Madina and knowing fully well the return to society where not everything explicitly revolves around the 5 prayers, ziyara and reviewing the scripture. The practices were meant to be sustained on our return.

We pray for the invitation again and that Allah accepts our efforts and overlook our shortcomings. We ask to be in the company of the righteous and that we are recognized by our Prophet ﷺ on the Day of Resurrection as his followers. All praise is for Allah. Oh Allah send your peace and blessings upon our Messenger Muhammad, his companions, family and all those who follow in his way.

Now Reading: Let Them Call Me Rebel by Sanford D. Horwitt

I was gifted this biography of the founder of the Industrial Areas Foundation, Saul Alinsky from the leaders of DuPage United. The author- Sanford Horwitt is an academic and writer, also former staffer for Illinois Congressman Abner Mikva. His intimate details of Chicago politicians and power brokers certainly qualifies him as a biographer of Alinsky in the city where he first put his organizing theories to work.

Saul Alinsky, considered the father of modern community organizing seems to come back from the dead every few years. In recent memory, it was former President Obama's start as a grassroots organizer in the Southside of Chicago linked to where Alinsky himself organized. This called to mind the grassroots power building techniques Alinsky pioneered in inner cities through Post WWII until his death in 1972.

He grew up the son of Jewish immigrants, in a slum neighborhood, where the city structure systemically neglected working class minority neighborhoods. On paper, he has the experience to be the selfless and noble organizer yet a love for notoriety and his ego were core to his character. Throw in a jack of all trades aptitude, irreverence towards anyone at any given moment, and a Machiavellian lens to his work- and one is amused at how his mission seemingly contradicted his character.

His vision to build power across race and local geographies in Chicago, LA, Rochester was meant to wrestle the rights for decent housing, elect officials from one's community and get access to quality jobs.
This commitment to building power was the charm that allowed him to fundraise in American socialite and corporate circles (the Midas empire for example) and have his theories resonate with students, faith leaders and power brokers.

In reality he pulled off only a handful of projects: Chicago, Rochester, Southern California were his landmark successes. He laid a blueprint for building the community infrastructure to participate in democratic civil society. Principles like self-interest guiding civil life, the urgency to build power across marginalized communities becomes easier to digest with concrete examples. Horwitt gets into the specifics of the fight in Rochester on securing jobs for black community members at the city's largest employer Kodak. Yet the details make it clear, the best run organizations weren't as rosy as Alinsky touted in his victory speeches.

Horwitt connects Alinsky to the larger backdrop of the civil rights movement and racial tension that marked American civil society after WWII. This is in stark contrast to how IAF tells their own story, so it was a pleasant surprise for me to learn how Alinsky was ideologically a staunch integrationist in South Chicago and that he understood organizing across ethnic communities was the lynchpin to fighting back against elitist power players, institutions and policies. But a combination of pragmatism and Machiavellian tendencies made him stop short on thorough integration in exchange for victories on singular campaigns and to secure funding for his organization.

Alinsky by his own rhetoric has a disinterest in faith, yet he worked and found his strongest leaders amongst clergy and lay faith leaders. It safe to say Alinsky wasn't a practicing Jew, but faith institutions were the foundation for building his citizens organizations.
Horwitt notes his IAF successors (Ed Chambers, Arnie Graff, Michael Gecan, Larry McNeil) kept "the values of family and church at the center of all discussions- values that are, as they say repeatedly, the basic raison d'etre for building a community organization."

Organizers today draw on Alinsky's concepts of self interest, power, unconventional and irreverent tactics- either directly from IAF training, or through the dozens of organizing schools that were inspired by the IAF and had their offshoots (like Midwest Academy).
This overlap is not limited to ethos and tactics, but extends to the fundraising of grassroots organizations- where making the case to big time donors or foundations to award $100k to a grassroots democracy projects echoes from Alinsky's fundraising experiences throughout his career.

The problems he saw and sought an answer for- economic inequality, marginalization of communities of color, and having a strong participatory democracy are identical to what we face today. Horwitt's read on Alinsky and assessment of American civil society reads the same today as it did when the book was published in 1988. What's different now is there are more diverse organizers- black, brown, women and more cultural/moral values that inform how to operate in the public space.
Reveille for Radicals, Rules for Radicals and the flood of other handbooks have taught concepts and tactics to hundreds of organizers. I'd recommend Horwitt's book to appreciate the cultural context that Alinsky emerged out of. The spirit to shape our own political destiny is alive and well.


Relevant links
Horwitt's book on Mikva 
Von Hoffman's book on Alinsky

Community Organizing Resources
http://www.citizenshandbook.org/
https://organizingforpower.org/
https://beautifultrouble.org/

Saul Alinsky interview, 1967: